Here, we will be discussing exactly what love languages are, why they matter, and go into detail of how each of the five categories need to feel loved

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What are the 5 Love Languages?

Proposed by author and radio host Gary Chapman in 1992, the five love languages are specific categories in which depict how particular individuals give and receive love within their romantic relationships. According to Chapman, while we may relate to the needs of each love language category, we typically fall within the category of only two, making them our top two languages. Those two love languages are not only how we wish to receive love from our partners, but are also how we instinctively give it.

Why are they so important to know in relationships?

The Five Love Languages are important factors to analyze within romantic relationships, as the categories allow for us to better understand how our partners need to be loved by us. Forming a romantic union with another may appear to be easy to some of us as first, as we may label ourselves as “romantics” and believe we can provide absolutely everything our partner desires. Beliefs such as “they only need frequent flowers” or “they just need to be cuddled all the time” will eventually have an impact on the actions taken by you to please your partner. Unfortunately, however, those actions may fall short and become not as fulfilling for them. Not because they don’t care nor love us, but simply due to their love languages not being met.

For example, a woman receiving frequent flowers from her partner may actually just value spending one on one time with them inside (Quality Time), and begins to feel lonely as a result. Also, a man being cuddled all the time may view his partner has suffocating, and really wants for them to remind him of how special he is (Words of Affirmation). If you have ever been involved within a romantic relationship where, although the other partner certainty tried to love you in a specific way, yet, you still felt incredibly lonely and began asking yourself if they truly loved you, this may be one of the reasons why. Unexpected differences and expectations of romantic expressions may potentially create conflict throughout the duration of the relationship due to the partners romantic needs failing to be met, and at worst, result in the separation of the couple. Thus, learning your partners top two love languages is essential to ensure they are continuing to be romantically pleased.

Listed below are the five love languages your partner may have:

Words of Affirmation

The love language Words of Affirmation is depicted as an individual feeling romantically fulfilled by receiving compliments and praises from their partner. Not to be confused with insecurity, romantic partners with this love languages verbally wish to hear how their partners feel about them. They wish to know how much their partners love them, how much they make them happy, and make them proud.

Things (really, sayings) partners with this love language would prefer include:

“You make me so happy”
“I love how you make me feel”
“I’m so proud of everything you do”
“I’ve never been loved by anyone like you”
“Thank you for always being there for me”
“I appreciate you”
“I love your smile”
“Thank you for loving me”
“I love you”

Acts of Service

As a love language, Acts of Service is defined as an individual feeling romantically fulfilled when their partners actions speak louder than their words. Unlike other love languages, these romantic partners prefer when their partner verbalizes less than they actually “do”. They also hate having to beg to have things happen. For these individuals, having a partner go out of their way to complete household chores to help them relax, being taken on random romantic dates, and stopping by the store on the way home to grab their favorite bag of chips goes a long way for them romantically. Also, please do not fake the funk with these partners, as they are able to decipher whether you’re doing nice things for them because you genuinely love them, or because you want something.

Things partners with this love language would prefer include:

Washing the dishes after they’ve cooked
Doing the laundry for them after a rough day
Hosting an surprise, intimate dinner with them to celebrate a new accomplishment
Paying for haircuts/nails
Making the bed
Completing errands for them
Giving them a back rub after a long day
Asking “How can I help?” and “How can I make it better?”

Quality Time

GIF: The Photograph — GIF: *The Photograph*

Quality Time is defined as an individuals romantic needs being met by spending one-on-one time with each other. For these romantic partners, there’s nothing they would more than to be in their own world with their significant other. Mainly, the most they ask for is for their partner to make the appropriate amount of time to spend with each other individually, so they both can be in their own world. However, don’t get lazy if you believe this is your partners love language! Although nights at home watching Netflix does count, individuals with this love language would also appreciate cooking with their partner, exploring a city together and date nights.

Things partners with this love language would prefer include:

Date nights
Taking classes together
Cooking a new meal together
Staying off the phone when around each other
Cuddling and watching TV
Walks around the park
Looking them in the eye when talking
Volunteering together

Receiving Gifts

The love language Receiving Gifts is depicted as a romantic partners desire to be emotionally fulfilled within a relationship through receiving gifts. Out of the remaining four love languages, this one appears to receive the most backlash and criticism due to it sounding materialistic to certain individuals. However, I concur, it’s more than that. Having a romantic partner whose love language is receiving gifts entails they would love to receive a token of love from their partner, but it doesn’t have to be anything large or expensive. In fact, a small token of appreciation will go a long way. By having their romantic partners go out the way to buy them something, their hearts begin to flutter. This includes, flowers, jewelry, and small items which hold a lot of sentimental meaning.

Things partners with this love language would prefer include:

Surprising them with flowers
Bringing them a gift home from a vacation
Picking up a card from the store
Taking them to their favorite place
Buying jewelry for them
Creating a CD of songs that remind you of them and gifting it to them
Picking up something they’ve always wanted then surprising them with it
Spontaneous vacations together

Physical Touch

Lastly, the love language Physical Touch is when an individual feels romantically fulfilled when they are being touched intimately by their partner. For these romantic partners, they begin to feel loved and appreciated by their partners when they receive physical attention from them. By being physically close with their partner, these individuals feel physically and mentally fulfilled. This includes hugs, holding hands, kisses, cuddles, massages, etc.

Things partners with this love language would prefer include:

Tight hugs
Kisses
Holding hands in public
Thigh rubs underneath tables
Forehead kisses
Cuddling
Massages
Holding their face in your hands
Putting your arm around their waist
Sitting close together
Touching their arm or waist when walking past them
Foot rubs

In conclusion, each of us has a very unique way in which we must receive affection within our relationships to feel loved, and to feel as our core needs are being met. To ensure both partners are satisfied, it is imperative for both to know and understand their top two love languages are. Once discovering those two, it will be extremely important for both partners to communicate them to each other, so each partner may be romantically fulfilled.

If you’d love to take the quiz to discover what your love languages are, or to receive an update in case they have changed throughout the years, please feel free to take the free quiz here!